Question: What's the difference between an accordian and an onion?
Answer: No one cries when you cut up an accordian.
Question: What's the difference between a trampoline and an accordian?
Answer: You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
Question: What's the definition of an optimist?
Answer: An accordian player with a beeper.
Question: What's the definition of a gentleman?
Answer: A man who can play the accordian---but won't!
Question: What do accordion players use as a contraceptive?
Answer: Their personalities
Question: What's the difference between an accordion player and a terrorist?
Answer: Terrorists have sympathisers.
Question: What's the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion?
Answer: A chainsaw can be tuned.
An accordian player was driving cross-country. He stopped at a rest stop to crash out for a while. When he woke up, he was horrified to remember that he'd left his accordian out on the back seat of the car, in plain sight. He rushed back to the car, but it was too late. Someone had broken the window and left two more accordians in there.